That reminds me...we need to get swords
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
