What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
