Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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