sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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