oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize