So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just googled if crying burns calories
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
