your room smells of hookers.
And success
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
did you just send me my own nude
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
