Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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