do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
