as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
