On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
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