let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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