At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize