Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I need a burrito and a hug.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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