I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
