the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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