i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
