apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
