dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
