Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
