i permit you to call me
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
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