you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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