Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
