he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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