so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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