he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
This is the high leading the old right now
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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