I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize