please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
