I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
