In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
