chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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