Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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