Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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