This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
