Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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