I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
