i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
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RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
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My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.