can u get pink eye on your cock?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.