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oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
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