Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"