I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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