Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
