whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
