Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
