My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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