their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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