So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
