When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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