I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
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She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
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How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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