I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
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I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
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If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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