K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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