I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
