he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
