Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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