Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
