Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
