Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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