sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
